Monday, May 2, 2016

late night memories of you

this post is dedicated to you, my first-ever-real love.

you know, we were both just a kids back then when we first met. i never thought that i would fallen in love with you in high school.

do you know? my love for you was real. and believe it or not, i had never love anyone as much, as deep, as i truly loved you.

we both gave each other everything we have. my soul was yours.

i had gone through everything with you. it's like riding a roller coaster—we had been on the top, bottom, even both at the same time, and nothing—let me say it clearly, NOTHING, had ever change my love for you.

i chose to be with you, for the good or the bad.
you know that i wrote that on my late night instagram post about you, with your gorgeous smile and eyes that used to be only for me.

thank you so much for those beautiful memories that i really appreciate even the smallest little things.

.
when you were busy for your college preparation, i felt so empty. i know, that i'm not supposed to be like that but i couldn't help it. i asked for your attention—too many times. we had lots of arguments, from the little things that went on and on until it was huge enough and made both of us unhappy with each other.

i know it wasn't supposed to end this way.
it was my fault from the beginning.

.
i tried my best to made you stay, even when you said you didn't love me as much as you used to, it kills me, seriously. but i had to stay strong to made you stay with me.

until that night,
i don't think i have to explain it again. 

.
in the end of this post, i just wanna say that i am truly sorry. sorry i'm not patience enough, i'm not good enough, i'm not anything enough to make this relationship hold any longer. i had tried my best, and i failed. you gave up on me, i gave up on you. 

this relationship had gone like, from a happy little kittens to a long-dead-cat-got hit by a truck.

and it sucks :(

you should know that deep, deep in my heart i know it wasn't supposed to end like this.

but its too late, right?

thankyou, my first real love. you and i had made an amazing teenage love memories in my life and even when i gets old, i'm 100% sure that i will never forget about you. i know you wont, too, even if you didnt say it.

goodbye, my used-to-be universe, my used-to-be future husband, my everything.

1 comment:

  1. sedih ned bacanya :( I feel you.. I had been on a sitution just like you were. There was like a huge hole in my heart at that time but after time passed by and I moved forward, letting go is not that hard and if you happen to have a next broke up, it wouuld not hurt as bad as your first time. Cheers! :)

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thanks for your nice comment :) i swear i will read all of your comment, guys ;D
xoxo,
Nedita Farah Nastiti