Friday, August 25, 2017

A Missing Piece

Hey everyone :-)

I'm currently in a 'not so good but also not so bad' situation and mental health. I mean, i'm now on my 2nd week of college life and it's quite... confusing. Actually no it's not confusing it's just that, you know, i got this mixed feeling about everything that might happen in the future. I've set my goals (on my goalsboard as always) yet i still feel like that's not enough.

I dont really understand about this mixed feelings that i 'm feeling right now but i'm trying the best that i could to translate it into words. I'm gonna start from everything new that i got in college.

My classes are fine. I mean i haven't got any challenging tasks or lecturers so far but of course i will face lots of challenges in the future. My lecturers are doing fine, some of them are super boring. I always slept in one of my class (i have 2 classes in a day and i always sleep mostly on the first class).

My new friends are okay. Some of them really get along with me easily, some of them im... sorta avoid just because i dont feel like im gonna be a good friend with them. And what i love about this people is i could be more "myself" in front of them. For example, okay this might sounds disgusting but whenever i'm feeling horny as fuck i could just say it out loud and they don't even mind CAUSE THEY'RE LIKE SO OPEN MINDED and sometimes they are just as wild as i am or even wilder :')

My friends are just fine... my classes are just fine... But i always feel like there's something that i haven't done or haven't got. I feel like there's something missing in this part of my transition life from a high school student to a college student. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS THAT. Well i actually think that might be caused of this 'no lover and no one to love' situation but im not really sure... What's that? What's this missing piece???

If you have any idea, tell me.

But one thing i know for sure is that i do need a boyfriend, or at least someone to talk to. To share each other's thoughts, to laugh and joking around together (lol im a sanguins i do really love to joke literally about almost anything), to go somewhere trying some new cafe or watch movies, to be my number one supporter and to be the one i always come to whenever something's not right. I need that person.

That, might be the missing part that i need. Just maybe, i'm not really sure about it. In fact, i'm not really sure about anything for now. Anything could happen. I could change, my habits could change. My friends could change. Everything could change just in a second even before i realize it's changing.

And to be honest, i'm not sure if i want the change.

(i don't know how to end this pointless and confusing post so i'm just gonna leave it there. xoxo, Nedita <3 )

p.s: i'm writing this while listening to ardhito pramono's songs on youtube lol if only i found someone like him in my surroundings i would definitely in love with him.

Friday, May 19, 2017

My Vanity Case

Happy Friday everyoneee !
FINALLY i made this post! Hahaha. I've been waiting for the right time to take pics of every details of my vanity case (including all the items) since now a freelance makeup artist had became my main occupation. So i'd love to share with you all of my makeup that i brought whenever i had a client.
But i'm not gonna go all-detailed into the products because it will take a lot of time obviously.

So yesterday i just had 2 clients for graduation makeup (you can check all of my work on my makeup insta @makeupbynedita) and tomorrow i'll have another 2 clients, one for graduation and one for birthday. Today is a day off, so i decided to do some quick cleaning on my case and huge cleaning on some of my brushes and sponges.

As you can see, basically my case has 5 sections, The main section is the one in the middle, right in front of the mirror. The others are those in the left and right wings. Let's go to the main section first.

I stored all of my foundation, brushes, sponges, moisturizer, some of my primers, and also my translucent powders in the main section. I also stored 2 palettes here because they're too big to be stored in the wings section. I put all of my brush together in this geometrical paper box that i got from  one of Gogirl! Magz edition years ago hahaha. Actually i planned to buy the real brush tube for my brushes but i haven't found one that is affordable.

Those are my foundation and all of them are liquids. And if you're asking me 'do i really use all of them for clients?', the answer is yes. For one client i usually mix 3 or 4 foundations to build up the exact coverage or consistency that needed. I also planned to invest in some cream or stick foundation to make the consistency even thicker. For now, my holy grail foundation is the Milani Conceal + Perfect Foundation. Mine is in the shade 06 Sand Beige, and i really love the result. It is high coverage (and still works wonders even if you built them up) and it leaves your skin a silky matte finish which i really love. The only cons i have with this foundation is that the color oxidize. I haven't figured out why maybe it's just my dull skin or i have the wrong shade or i didn't set it nicely, well i don't know. But then i found the way to hide the oxidation of this foundie. All i have to do is to mix it with my Revlon Colorstay which is the lightest shade i have in my vanity. It will automatically helps the oxidation from the Milani's.

These two are the wide palettes that i stored in the main section. They are L.A Colors I Heart Contour Palette and an Oriflame Eyeshadow Palette (idk what the name is). And yes, the contour palette is the only palette that i ALWAYS use on all of my clients (besides my huge sephora palette, of course. It doens't even fit in the case). The oriflame one, i barely touch it actually. I just open it up whenever i need some pop of colors for my eyeshadows (i usually only use neutral shades). 

Moving on to the right wing...

There is a couple sections on each wing. And now i'm gonna talk about the upper section first just because this is my favorite : LIPS SECTION! HAAHAHAHA. I know, lipstick is every woman's true bestfriend (ululu). Here we go, my lipsticks, creams, and glosses collection!

You know those days when you're so broke and you can't decide which foundation to buy, but then you ended up ordering lipsticks from online shop? Yep. That's me. It's very easy for me to spend my money on these babies. 

I have a quite enough variety for lipsticks. But i'm not the 'lippie junkie' who collects all lipstick shades etc. I only bought lipsticks when i need to, maybe if i haven't had that one color in my collection, i'd go for it. But personally i'm the 'cool-toned and purple lips'-kind of a girl. And i'm not into warm-peachy-orange shades. So the colors that i own are mostly are pinks and purples :) These two babies are now my current most-favorite! It's Posie K from Kylie Cosmetics and Colourpop Ultra Matte Lip in Viper <3

The section below is the 'Glue and Friends' section. Lol i actually just named it 3 secs ago while writing this sentence. I wanna name it 'the random section' but later i have another 'more random section' so yeah i just have to find another name for this one. But yep the items i stored here are mostly falsies glues. But i also stored my blush palette and another eyeshadow palette and my mascara. 

My favorite item in this section is my blush palette, it's from Nicka K and it is super cheap yet super pigmented. It contains 4 pans of blushes, and all-matte. Sadly as i said before i'm a cool-toned-kind of girl (eventhough my skin is fucking warm but for lips and blushes i prefer the cool-toned ones), these blush doesn't contain any cool-toned blush. They actually come in 3 colors for this palette and there's one that have all pink blushes and 2 of them are cool-toned. I'm looking forward to purchase that soon (or maybe a cream blush? i haven't decide it yet).

Next stop is the actual 'Random Section' :')

As you can see i stored the *non-faction* items here. There are face primers, pencukur alis (idk whats the english word for this), lip balms, another mascara, nail scissors (since i have no small scissors to cut the ends of falsies i brought this in my case because it's small and basically do the same job ((: ), wedge sponges, brow pencils, pressed powder, and blush. My favorite item in this section is, obviously, brow pencils. I use them 24/7 and literally can't live without them. I even have a dipbrow pomade from Anastasia Beverly Hills but these two Viva Cosmetics pencils will always be the winner.

And finally, the last section. I named this 'The Coverage Section' hahaha. This section contains all of my concealers, HD powder, and face correctors. I also stored eyeliners, some falsies, and brow pomade here.

I don't know what to say about this section. Basically this is the section where almost all the items has the same function: to hide flaws. All of my concealers are L.A Girl HD Concealers and my color corrector is from City Color. Oh, and my favorite item in this section goes to my Bare Minerals Original Foundation Powder. I only use this powder for birthday clients or important events. And i'm not using a lot of it since it's a full coverage powder and using just a little bit is enough to smoothen the appearance of your skin. And yes it is so pricey wkwk thats why i'm not going extra with this one.

The one jar i wrapped in tissue is a gold pigment powders for eyeshadows or body highlighter. I just wrapped it in tissue because the packaging isn't quite tight so the glitters are like spread everywhere in this section. 

And for the exterior of my case, it is black with full glitters on the surface. I really love it instead of the basic black one because it looks more fancy haha. It doesn't have wheels since it's medium sized beauty case and still fit into the airplane cabin. It comes with 4 yellow lamps that i changed into white because it's just appears better. It also comes with ceklekan (IDK WHATS THE ENGLISH WOrD man) to secure and it also provides key to lock the case. Which i never use. But yeah that's it about my case. Oh! and i bought in Pengampon Market in Surabaya for about 3,500k in Rupiahs. And it's from the brand Gladking.

Okay so that's it finally we're reaching the end of this post because i'm actually so fucking sleepy i need to take a long-long nap :v Hope you enjoy this vanity tour and hope this is helpful, if you have any question just comment down below or reach me via instagram @neditafarah.

See you on the next post!
xo xo,
Nedita <3

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

The Beginning, Smada Youth Singers's First Annual Concert!

Bonne soirée, lecteurs!

Well, tonight is the night that i (actually) supposed to study English, because tommorow is my National Exam in English subject :') But honestly i have no idea what to study. So i just sat in my room and i didn't know why but i randomly decided to write again. And for the first 30 mins i'm dealing with my Google Account because they thought i was trying to hack this account (maybe?) and they gave me an alternative way to sign in by inserting my registered phone number THAT I USED BACK IN JUNIOR HIGH and i was like the fuck how do i even remember the numbers? And fortunately i saved the old number in my phone's card memory :D yeee

So... what i'm gonna write today? Well maybe i'm gonna do a throw back to one of last year's big thing in my life. 2016 was such a wonderful year, isn't it?

Now, in this post i wanna share with you, my first-ever experience to be in a position as the chairman of a concert committee, and also i'll proudly say, my first success:

The Beginning

If you've followed this blog from yearsss ago, you should prolly know that i joined my school's choir team. Last year, i got the chance to be the vice chairman of my choir's committee. The chairman is my Soprano friend, Rania, and eventhough there were lots of ups and downs, i admit that she is the best chairman and the best partner that i've ever worked with.

So, Rania had a new big project for my choir at that moment, which was to held our own annual concert as the pre-competition performance before we flew to Bali for the BICF Competition. That wasn't easy tho, since before the concert was planned, my choir had only achieved 1 achievement (in the same year), which was the 3rd place in Festival Paduan Suara Universitas Surabaya in the mixed youth category. I mean, we hadn't had anything super to even start our own concert.

And Rania chose me to be the chairman committee for this project! o m g

And so the work begun! The preparation started on December 2015 until July 2016. We create the basic concept, formed a committee, did research here and there for the venue, contacted everyone in our list--searched for the sponsors, sang more and practiced even harder, designed the team's costume, and blablabla, and they were quite tiring and stressing atm.

Everyone in the committee was super super busy until we forgot one important thing: WE HADN'T MADE OUR POSTER YET and it was already a week before the publication deadline.
The poster designer was kinda... well idk but it was hard to stay in touch with him to discuss about the poster, and with the limited amount of time i finally decided to created it by my own and this came out as the final result: (DONT JUDGE ME I KNOW ITS UGLY)

Now i just realized that it wasn't my best design :''')) but that's just the art of kepepet so you SHOULD maklum ya maap.....

But even the preparation was quite stressed me out, i am grateful to have my best people in the committee. We bonded so well it wasn't even feels like working. Their jokes were as goood as their working ability. They always knew how to cheered each other's up and they could managed the situation when it wasn't gone right. And my coach was very supportive (eventho he's kinda mangkelin sometimes). Overall i love the working atmoshphere + the people.

Now i'm starting to get tired staring and the screen so here you go some snapshots at the event!
Buttt before we go on photos, here is the teaser video for the concert!

Before the show: SMADA YOUTH SINGERS X CHANDELIER CHOIR, our guest star!


my first ever speech in public and it was awful


My favorite formation for I Will Lift Mine Eyes by Jake Runestad


Well, i'm kinda disappointed with the people in the photography team because in almost every formation my coach always placed me in the outer left and there were lots of photos without me just because i'm on the very left of the stage. This is the only photo of me, and its blurred:


The 2nd costume for the 2nd segment
Now if you're wondering, we had two segments in the show. The first segment was all classic songs and all of them were in english or another foreign language. In this segment we wore the red gold costume (I DESIGNED IT YAYYY). The second segment was in Indonesian and folklore songs. We wore the Dayak's tribe traditional costume because the last song on the list was Ahtoi Porosh, and it is a Dayak's song.

UGLY ME SINGING ILAY GANDANGAN UGLYLY (lol i dont sing 'beautifully' i sing 'uglyly')

Our Guest Star: Chandelier Choir

Singers, Guest Star, and Moms-- People behind the stage!

Sudah ya post nya, kali ini not in english cause i'm sleepy as fuck. Bytheway, ini post part 1. Nanti akan ada post tentang Smada Youth Singers lagi, part 2. And it is a much better and much memorable experience than this one. It was the highlight of 2016, really. Entah kapan akan muncul post nya ditunggu saja ya.

Neddddd <333

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

The Art Of Lettting Go

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose" - Yoda

I once thought that statement was completely nonsense and ridiculous until i experience it myself. Like the fuck why? Why we have to let go of something that we love? What if we're too 'letting go' of it and it really goes away? 

Okay, on this post i'm gonna be focused on letting go of someone, but in the end this can actually relate to anything such as try to let go of your past school, the passing of your loved pets, etc.

First of all, I've just experienced the worst breakup so far in my life. I always thought that he's the only one who could actually made my life complete, the only one who could made myself truly happy, the one that i was deeply in love with, and of course the one that i just couldn't let go of. And when the broke up happened, the worst, sucks days of my life suddenly comes and it actually fucked me up, stressed me out. 

And that stressful situation made my-stupid and confused-self did something that i really, really regret until today: begged, pleaded him to love me again.

I kept held onto him eventhough deep in my heart i know he didn't love me anymore. I kept telling myself, "He will love me again, just like the happy old days" and just couldn't stop begged him to get back again with me. I felt so empty and lonely, all i thought about was him, i didn't even know what to do with my life--i couldn't even imagine my future without him on the picture. And at that time, i was stupid and blind i thought that i didn't have another option to made him come back to me except holding on to him.

And of course, it didn't work.
Because we cannot force someone to love us.

But well, those days of suffers has passed, and here i am. Still alone but not lonely, live happily and fill my life to the fullest :))

That is because i finally try to learn "The Art of Letting Go".

Let it go. Let him go. Because holding on does way a lot more damage.

Try to learn to let go of every single thing you love. When you're letting go, you will not get fucked up when they're actually gone (well maybe just a lil bit fucked up, but it's not gonna get any worse because you've actually learned to love and let go at the same time since the beginning). Keep in your mind that if they're really made for you, whatever happened life will actually do their job and they will eventually come back to you. But if they didn't, then it's not meant to be yours on the first place.

I learned to accept my life without the one i loved the most. I grieved as i need to, and after that i should focus on something more important than my past: my future. Another lesson i learned from my past relationship is not everyone you love will stay, not everyone you trust will be loyal, some people only exist as examples of what to avoid. Train your mind to look for the best in every situation, even the worst one will give yourself a good lesson. And trust me, when you already 'mastered' this art of letting go, your life will eventually come back in peace.

Here's another words i found really helpful from my instagram:

"Don't feel stupid for missing him, even if he treated you like shit. You still had happy memories and you're always going to miss them. Don't try to replace him, cause you won't. Just get through each day and eventually it'll get better. I promise. Eventually someone will come into your life and whether or not you realize it, they're going to be something special to you. So don't throw yourself at every guy you see, trying to replace him, or at least dull the memories, cause you're only going to make yourself see how hard he is to replace. Someone better will eventually come along."

Good Luck
Nedita <3

NB: My broke up happened 5 months ago lol. But i found a trilogy fiction book that i currently loveee so much, "The School for Good and Evil" by Soman Chainani. On the third book, the main character, Agatha, was forced by the situation to let go of his prince, Tedros, to save the world. She is a really wise, young character, and she finally could let Tedros go with her bestfriend, Sophie. But in the end, Tedros was actually meant to be hers since the beginning. No matter how hard life tried to separate them, each of them will actually find their way back to each other. That book just remind me of my past breakup so i choose to wrote a post about it :)